Inspirational Thoughts of the Day
Remember, our senior citizens are worth a fortune, with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs.
If a church wants a better pastor, it can start by praying for the one it has.
The propensity for bread to land on the floor buttered-side down is in equal but inverse proportion to the cost of the carpet.
Love your enemies; it will drive them nuts.
Never eat fruitcake - Have SOME standards!
I'm confused...no wait...maybe I'm not.
I'm not paranoid, they really are out to get me.
The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.
Never let your mom brush your hair when she's mad at your dad
Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
You will never get downtown if you are waiting for all the lights to turn green.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. - Salvador Dali
Monday is a horrible way to spend 1/7th of your life.
If not for rain, there would be no flowers.
Stop and smell the roses - just be sure there's no dadgum bumblebee hidin' in it first.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain
Love is like a rose. You have to see past the thorns to appreciate its beauty.
Triumph is just umph added to try.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." - Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" [Charles Schulz]
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. - A Bit of Fry and Laurie
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. - Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. -Ashleigh Brilliant
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. - William James
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - F.P. Jones
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See
I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! But I'm sick and tired of being told that I am! - Monty Python
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
No, my powers can only be used for good.
Everyone needs a good friend they can call up to help bury a body if necessary.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
The purpose of propaganda is to present your opinion in the simplest terms as though it were fact, allow no room for disagreement, and confuse the masses to believe that they do not need to think it out because you have already done that for them. (Scary, huh?) - Paraphrased from Mein Kampf - Adolph Hitler
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
Every time I say that dirty word..."EXERCISE"...I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck around
Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn