Inspirational Thoughts of the Day

(Cute Sayings)

A mother can touch a whole generation just by loving her own child well.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Bills travel faster through the mail than checks.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID. Think about it...

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying, "Yo."

Do not believe in miracles...rely on them.

Do you know the best way to heal dry, chapped lips? Stop moving them.

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write "911"!

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

Football: A game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while millions of people who really need the exercise sit and watch.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

How about never? Is never good for you?

How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?

I photocopied a mirror. Now I have an extra photocopy machine.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

If a politician ever ran for president under a slogan such as "Harlan Frubert: Basically He Wants Attention," I would quit my job and work for his campaign.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

If evolution is true, why do mothers still only have one pair of hands?

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

If it weren't for stress, I'd have no energy at all.