A man appears before the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.
Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.
Once I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers
who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, ' Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.'"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
"A couple of minutes ago."