Merit

A man appears before the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks. 

Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.

Once I came upon  a gang of high-testosterone bikers
who were threatening a young woman.  I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.  

So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, ' Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.'"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"A couple of minutes ago."