Why did the chicken cross the road?" You only think you know. Here's what the experts say.
Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American, that's why.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Colonel Sanders: "I missed one?"
L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
Bill Clinton: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
Hillary Clinton: There are no chickens. It's all part of a vast right wing conspiracy. Don't make me quote Tammy Wynette on you now. We don't need anymore homemade cookies.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!, the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.
George W. Bush: Yes, my good friend "Chickster". Chickster and I have made quite a connection these last few days.
Al Sharpton: I don't know but if you say Twanna Brawley on me again, I'm gonna scream.
John Edwards: This sounds dangerous. Somebody's going to court.
Joseph Lieberman: Let me say that I am so disappointed that this chicken was allowed to cross the road. The administration should be doing something about this. If Al Gore and I lalalalalalala....
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Bill Clinton (again): I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released "Chicken Coop XP", which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.