Inspirational Thoughts of the
Remember, our senior citizens are
worth a fortune, with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth,
stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their
If a church wants a better
pastor, it can start by praying for the one it has.
The propensity for bread to land
on the floor buttered-side down is in equal but inverse proportion
to the cost of the carpet.
Love your enemies; it will drive
Never eat fruitcake - Have SOME
I'm confused...no wait...maybe
I'm not paranoid, they really are
out to get me.
The mighty oak tree was once a
little nut that held its ground.
Never let your mom brush your
hair when she's mad at your dad
Life may have no meaning. Or even
worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
You will never get downtown if
you are waiting for all the lights to turn green.
The mind is not a vessel to be
filled but a fire to be kindled.
The only difference between me and a
madman is that I am not mad. - Salvador Dali
Monday is a horrible way to spend 1/7th of
If not for rain, there would be no
Stop and smell the roses - just be sure
there's no dadgum bumblebee hidin' in it first.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
- Mark Twain
Love is like a rose. You
have to see past the thorns to appreciate its beauty.
Triumph is just umph added to
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask,
"Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me,
"This is going to take more than one night." -
Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" [Charles Schulz]
I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. - A Bit of
Fry and Laurie
What is a committee? A group of the
unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. - Richard
Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
My opinions may have changed, but not the
fact that I am right. -Ashleigh Brilliant
A great many people think they are
thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
- William James
Experience is that marvelous thing that
enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. -
Human beings, who are almost unique in
having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are
also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -
Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See
I think that all right-thinking people in
this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary,
decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and
tired. I'm certainly not! But I'm sick and tired of being told
that I am! - Monty Python
I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I had about you.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being
How important does a person have to be
before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
No, my powers can only be used for good.
Everyone needs a good friend they can call
up to help bury a body if necessary.
I don't know what your problem is, but
I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
The purpose of propaganda is to present
your opinion in the simplest terms as though it were fact, allow
no room for disagreement, and confuse the masses to believe that
they do not need to think it out because you have already done
that for them. (Scary, huh?) - Paraphrased from Mein Kampf -
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave
Every time I say that
dirty word..."EXERCISE"...I wash my mouth out with
I get enough exercise just
pushing my luck around
Never play leapfrog with a