Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person
to do such thing is please not to read notice.
Bucharest hotel lobby: The
lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret
that you will be unbearable.
Leipzig elevator: Do not
enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national
Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
Athens hotel: Visitors are
expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11
Yugoslavian hotel: The
flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
Japanese hotel: You are
invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Moscow hotel lobby across from
a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the
cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and
writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Austrian hotel catering to
skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of
repose in the boots of ascension.
Swiss restaurant menu: Our
wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Polish hotel menu: Salad a
firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the
form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up
in the country people's fashion.
Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Bangkok dry cleaner: Drop
your trousers here for best results.
Paris dress shop: Dresses
for street walking.
Rhodes tailor shop: Order
your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers
in strict rotation.
Germany's Black Forest: It
is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people
of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in
one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
Zurich hotel: Because of
the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the
bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Hong Kong dentist's ad:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
Rome laundry: Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good
agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee
Thailand advertisement for
donkey rides: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
Bangkok temple: It is
forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Tokyo bar: Special
cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Copenhagen airline ticket
office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Moscow hotel room: If this
is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Budapest zoo: Please do
not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to
the guard on duty.
Roman doctor's office:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
Acapulco hotel: The
manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons
cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long
Japanese information booklet
about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you
want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Tokyo car rental firm
brochure: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the
horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. Here speeching American.