Yeah... as if!?
There's more than one way to
A man retires and buys a modest
home near a junior high school. He spends the first few weeks of
his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year
begins, and one afternoon three young boys, full of youthful,
after-school enthusiasm, come down his street beating merrily on
every trash can they see. The crashing percussion continues day
after day, until finally the man decides it is time to take some
The next afternoon, he walks out
to meet the young percussionists as they bang their way down the
"You kids are a lot of
fun," he says. "I like to see you express your
exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I
was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar
if you'll promise to come around every day and do your
The kids are elated and continued
to do a bang-up job on the trash cans.
After a few days, the man greets
the kids again, but this time he has a sad smile on his face.
"The drop in the stock market is putting a big dent in my
income," he tells them. "From now on, I'll be able to
pay you only 50 cents to beat on the cans."
The noisemakers are obviously
displeased, but they accept his offer and continue their afternoon
ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approaches them again
as they drum their way down the street.
"Look," he says,
"I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not
going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be
"A lousy quarter?" the
drum leader exclaims. "If you think we're going to waste our
time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts. No
way, mister. We quit."
And the man enjoys peace and
serenity for the rest of his days.