It is with the saddest
heart I pass on the following: Please join me in remembering a
great icon-the veteran Pillsbury spokesman, the Pillsbury
Doughboy died yesterday of complications from repeated pokes
in the belly and a chronic yeast infection. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of
celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty
Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours, as longtime friend,
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very
"smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he
even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model
for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise
again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children,
John Dough, and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He
is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral
was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.