| Why did the
chicken cross the road?" You only think you know.
Here's what the experts say.
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American, that's
why.
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to
trample him and keep him down.
The Bible: And
God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And
the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Colonel Sanders:
"I missed one?"
L.A. Police Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
Bill Clinton: The
chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did
not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have
never known any chickens.
Hillary Clinton:
There are no chickens. It's all part of a vast right
wing conspiracy. Don't make me quote Tammy Wynette on
you now. We don't need anymore homemade cookies.
Dr. Seuss: Did the
chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes!, the chicken crossed the road. But
why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into
question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the
chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the
chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Aristotle: It
is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx: It
was an historical inevitability.
George W. Bush:
Yes, my good friend "Chickster". Chickster and I
have made quite a connection these last few days.
Al Sharpton: I don't
know but if you say Twanna Brawley on me again, I'm gonna
scream.
John Edwards:
This sounds dangerous. Somebody's going to court.
Joseph Lieberman:
Let me say that I am so disappointed that this chicken was
allowed to cross the road. The administration should
be doing something about this. If Al Gore and I
lalalalalalala....
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Bill Clinton (again):
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I
did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder:
You saw it cross with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies
whatever motive there was.
Freud: The
fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I
have just released "Chicken Coop XP", which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an
inextricable part of the operating system.
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