Now that I'm
'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:
I. I started out
with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats
have turned into prunes and All Bran
3. I finally got
my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't
remember being absent minded.
4. Funny, I don't
remember being absent minded.
5. All reports
are in; life is now officially unfair.
6. If all is not
lost, where is it?
7. It is easier
to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days
you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
9. I wish the
buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
10. Kids in the
back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in
the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to
make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time
the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the
bathroom.
14. If God wanted
me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm
finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play
chess?
16. It's not hard
to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
17. The only
difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I
spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go
somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
