Have you been invited to attend
the birth of your grandchild? Are you reluctant to go or are you
looking forward to it?
With the ease in hospital
regulations and the exploding senior population,
many grandparents
are now present during the delivery of their grandchildren.
Attending the birth is a way to begin the lifelong love affair
with your grandchild.
When you attend the birth of your
grandchild, the birth event becomes a ”rite of passage” where
everyone celebrates the addition of a new generation to the
family. Your children become parents and you become grandparents.
You all move up a branch on the family tree. It is an emotional
and spiritual event that touches everyone in attendance. Sharing
your grandchild’s birth provides unforgettable memories.
“A new baby can cement and
affirm family bonds,” says Dr. Arthur Kornhaber, President and
Founder of The Foundation for Grandparenting, who has long
advocated the attendance of grandparents at the birth of their
grandchildren. “But many grandparents are hesitant about
attending their grandchild’s birth. They ask many questions
about the “how”, “why” and “when” of getting involved.”
If it has been over twenty years
since you were in a maternity ward, you probably realize that
things have changed a lot. Perhaps you were sedated during the
birth of your children and have never actually seen a baby being
born. Or if you had your children during the 70’s, you may have
had natural childbirth. But today’s hospital birth is very
mechanized and a delivering woman can look like she is in
intensive care. Despite all the propaganda about new pain
relieving procedures, women still have some degree of pain at some
time during most deliveries. Watching your daughter give birth is
a very different experience than giving birth yourself and
watching her in pain can be overwhelming if you don’t understand
what is taking place.
It is no wonder some grandparents
are hesitant. Many often feel that birthing is a private event and
they shouldn’t intrude. But if you are invited to be there, don’t
pass up the opportunity. This is your child who is having a child.
It is an important event. A little preparation will assuage any
fears that linger.
Preparation makes the event more
comfortable for everyone present: the doctor, the expecting
couple, the hospital staff, and the grandparents, and preparation
begins with the first announcement that a baby is expected.
Here are ten tips to enhance your
expectant grandparent experience:
1. Be informed. Read about how
pregnancy is managed today and about birthing practices and how
they have changed. Know the tools and terminology.
2. Be positive. Keep a positive
attitude. Refrain from scary talk even when you are worried. Tell
only positive birth stories.
3. Be attentive. Be ready to help
when asked, listen to a daughter or son’s pregnancy updates with
enthusiasm, and recognize this milestone in their life.
4. Be available. Go shopping
together, attend a doctor’s visit, take a hospital tour, and
help fix up the nursery, stay in touch.
5. Be prepared. Have your camera
in good working condition; keep yourself healthy, study up on baby
care, childproof your home, get your own baby equipment for future
visits.
6. Be available. Postpone a
vacation or cancel a function if it means you might miss the
birth. This day will not come again.
7. Be supporting. Even if you don’t
agree with plans your children make, try to support them. This is
their birth and their baby. You don’t want family disputes now.
8. Be Proud. Let everyone know
you are looking forward to this grandchild and to being a
grandparent; least you hurt your children’s feelings.
9. Be Patient. Have a thick skin,
as pregnant and laboring women aren’t always in a good mood. Don’t
take things personal.
10. Be kind. Don’t forget other
grandchildren. Think of everyone else’s needs before your own
during this time.
Whether you are in the room or
waiting nearby, being there when your grandchild is born is an
exciting experience and one you shouldn’t miss. Your children
will appreciate your help and support during this milestone in
their life.
Note: Beginning in 2002,
September 28 has been designated as "National Attend Your
Grandchild's Birth Day." It is being set aside each year to
encourage grandparents participate in their grandchild's birth as
well as his or her life.
