Time For Each Other
Time For Connection
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Gretta and David fell deeply in
love in their mid 50’s. They were both astounded at the level of
passion they experienced.
At the beginning of their
relationship, nothing got in the way of their time together - not
chores, children, work, friends, or “stuff”. Nothing was more
important than their time together.
However, when they got married and
started living together, their passion seemed to fall by the
wayside. Sometimes they didn’t make love for weeks at a time. They
called me for a session to see what was wrong.
Half way into the session, David
hit the nail on the head. “We never seem to have time for each
“What are you doing with your
time now?” I asked. “Getting stuff done,” they answered.
“Why is getting the stuff done
more important than time together?” I asked.
As we explored this question, both
Gretta and David discovered that they had been brought up with a
strong work ethic: “Get everything done before relaxing.”
“Work before play.” What they didn’t realize was that their
“doing” was in the way of their “being.”
Without having time to be, they had
no emotional and spiritual connection with each other, or with
themselves. Without their connection, there was no desire to express
themselves sexually, especially for Gretta. Gretta complained that
she didn’t feel connected with David and didn’t enjoy sex
without connection, yet she made no room in her day for the time to
How many of you plan time for
yourself - to connect with yourself and with your spiritual
guidance? How many of you plan time to connect with your partner or
others in your life?
Creating time to connect with
yourself means setting aside time each day to just be with yourself.
When you plan this quiet time - to pray, meditate, dialogue, journal
- you create the space to connect with Spirit as well. It is when
you are quiet and in the moment with yourself that you will hear the
voice of your spiritual guidance.
Creating time to connect with each
other means planning time to do nothing with each other, as well as
planning fun time together.
It means sitting together on the
patio and watching the sunset. It means having a cup of tea together
before going to work. It means watching a video together, or taking
a walk. It means getting into bed way before bedtime to cuddle and
share your day with each other. It means getting up early enough to
share your dreams with each other. It means planning a date night
together at least once a week.
Your relationship with yourself and
your partner will always suffer if you do not plan time to connect.
This is not a luxury - something you do only after you’ve finished
This is a necessity for your own
health and well-being as well as the health and well-being of your
relationship. You will never finish everything you need to do. There
will always be “stuff.” But the wonder and passion of life will
pass you by if you do not schedule in time to connect.
This time needs to be as important
as the time you take to eat, sleep, and work. It is only when you
see it as essential to your well-being will you make it a very high
priority in your life.
and David decided to set aside a half hour each day to sit on their
patio and do nothing with each other. In addition, they each decided
to set aside another half hour - when they were usually doing stuff
- to connect with themselves. It didn’t take long for the passion
to come back into their relationship.
About The Author
Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books,
including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?"
and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the
powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now!
Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com